What’s your guilty pleasure?
Oh God, how long have you got? Curry, pizza, cakes, Twixes, peanut butter, KitKat Chunky… I feel like I’m doing the song from Oliver – beer, bread, white bread, cheese; you name it, I love it. I can’t even have a cup of tea without having something sweet with it, I need a biscuit or a cake, it’s crazy.
What is your most impressive personal fitness best?
When I was 17 I was an amateur boxer – I had two fights and it was probably the fittest I’ve ever been. I remember both fights, it was like “Look, they might get the better of you at first, but by the end they’re going to be blowing out of their arses”. In both fights I kept getting beaten in the first and second rounds but narrowly won the third, just because the other guy was gutted.
What excuse for not working out are you most ashamed of?
Oh man, the list of excuses is ridiculous. One time I said I didn’t have a pair of trainers, but I gig in trainers, I travel in trainers, I always wear trainers. Such a flawed excuse… My support act is a ridiculous gym-goer – it’s depressing going to the gym with him, because he’s an old school “four hours in the gym, 10 runs a day” kind of guy. Yeah, I hate him.
What’s your position on kale?
I remember once I helped my dad cut the lawn and he let me empty the grass thing at the back and I got some grass in my mouth, and that’s basically kale for me. If you cook it that’s all the goodness gone from it, so let’s just sit and eat a handful of dirt like rabbits. “Ooh, you can’t cook it, you’ll lose the goodness!” Let’s all go and live in a cave – you can’t win, man, I’m sick.
Have you ever secretly impressed yourself with a feat of strength?
This is ridiculous! You’ve picked the right week to interview me about this. I did a pilot for a show and they asked us who our childhood celebrity crush was and mine was Jet from Gladiators. Then they were like, “You’re never going to believe it, she’s here tonight”. I had to arm wrestle her, best out of three, and she went down, two in a row, didn’t even need a third one. It was great, it was the best night ever.
Ever let yourself go?
Numerous times. I’ve got a really ridiculous metabolism, where if I just put a bit of effort in and watch what I eat, the weight flies off – my wife hates it. One day it’s going to catch up with me, and when it does I’ll start being a gym freak like my mates. I go in and out of times of letting myself go – after every tour I look at myself and go “My God, look at the state of you”. It’s just motorway food and beers every night.
What food wouldn’t you give up for a million pounds?
Probably pizza, I love pizza, I got pizza delivered onto a train once. I just went on Twitter and tweeted Domino’s saying “I’m on this train, here to here, these are the stops, these are what times it’s stopping, do you think you could get a pizza to one of these stops?” They went and did it – it went viral, it was class.
What’s the best way to spice up a boring jog?
Probably brick someone’s windows? Or slap a big, tough guy and just leg it…
Is there anything funny about being in good shape?
I don’t know why, but I think my fans would sort of laugh at us even more if I was in really great shape, but not in the right kind of way. They’d be like “Come on Ramsey, man, pack it in. Go on, have a burger. Stop it”.
What are your thoughts on leg day?
When I see someone with an amazing upper body, then I look down at their legs and they totally never bothered, I take it as a personal victory. It’s like a pencil holding up a pineapple. I like a good snipe, “Yeah, you look good but look at your stupid skinny legs”. People missing leg day is a gift to people like me, because I’ve missed everything day…
Chris Ramsey has teamed up with Swiftcover to help rediscover the nation’s comedy hotspots with a series of comedy gigs across the UK. Visit swiftcover.uk/swiftgigs to apply for free tickets